Ice
by PhiSat
Summary: AU fic, FemMello, MelloXMatt. DL, DR.  Mello's played the part of a guy for years. Success comes easy. But when she needs help from a friend to finally catch Kira, the disguise begins to  slip. What'll make her win, losing the disguise or losing Matt?
1. Diamond Child

**Hello and welcome to my first Death Note fanfiction.**

***silence***

**Anyways, this is a FemMello fanfic. Don't like, don't read. That's all on that subject... Anyway, so yeah, basically, it's AU, Mello's a girl, but has been crossdressing as a guy for years and... Well, Better Than It Sounds. I hope.**

**So, um, enjoy.**

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* * *

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When I think about it now, I realize how childish it was, to even think anything could come of it. Then again, I was only a kid.

But it was still a slap in the face, no matter how I reasoned it.

"_L is dead."_

The thing that was worst, maybe, was Near. _That fucker Near. _He just sat on the floor, expressionless. He didn't give a shit that L was dead, even dared to say he was a loser. Bastard… I wanted to punch him out. There was no way I could work with _him_.

So I left.

I was young, only about eight, when I met L. When I look at it now, I must have had a crush. A little girly crush on a guy I'd met for five minutes… Yeah, brilliant, I know.

They stayed away from me at that time. I admit, I was a nasty kid back then, punching and slapping anyone who dared openly say Near was better than I was. Not that I wouldn't do it the exact same way if I had the chance… Those kids had it coming. Until the day L died, I put up with them and they put up with me. Cycle of… Whatever. Bullshit.

There was just no point of staying at Wammy's House after that. L was dead. Roger was useless. And Near, that little bastard… There was only one th- No, not even him. But I'll get the last laugh. Beat Kira, yeah. I'll finish it.

For L, but mostly for me.

**Chapter 1**

Mello threw the door open and flopped onto the couch, before noticing the door was still open, and closing it with a huff. The apartment was a cheap place to be, especially when you were working for who Mello was working for, but it was a place to crash.

After taking off the shiny leather dress shoes, Mello checked for bugs. Right away. It was a routine now, and one that could be dangerous to break. Nothing today. A sigh of relaxation. Mello didn't want to be discovered.

"Aeiou. The quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog. Blah." She coughed once, then grabbed an unwrapped bar of chocolate and snapped into it, the taste of cocoa and sugar filling her mouth again. What was the point of that sentence? To make sure she could still speak in a normal tone. Her non-disguised tone, not the one that ravaged her throat every day, so her throat was sore and she was decidedly pissed off all the time.

Not that being pissed off constantly was necessarily a bad thing, in the Mafia… It certainly made no one in _hell _suspect that she was just some British girl… Some bitch way out of her league, as they'd say.

But she had gotten a Death Note. Along with the heads of Mob bosses.

Slowly, Mello unraveled the thick bandage around her chest. It was painful to have to put it on every day. It wasn't something she would probably ever get used to. Maybe she wouldn't have to live like this one she'd rammed Kira's face into the dirt.

But it was a long climb.

Mello wondered if Matt was going to get back to her. She'd called him up, knowing she needed someone she could tru- Nevermind that. She couldn't trust anyone. Matt was just the closest to that. He hadn't gotten back to her yet, but there was some hope, or maybe more than that. She knew Matt, he'd want a shot at some action at least. If his brain wasn't rotted yet from cigarettes and video games.

Snapping another bite of chocolate, Mello grabbed a bra out of a secret drawer under her bed, but shuddered upon seeing it and grabbed another. Better. Lacy just wasn't her style. She left the discarded bra there. If someone raided her room in the morning, they'd just think "he" had a hooker in there or something. Everyone was so easily fooled if they wanted to be. And this _was_ Vegas, after all.

As Mello pondered this, her cell went off.

"Shit!" She fumbled for her leather pants sitting on the bed and just barely got the cell phone out in time to notice who was calling.

"Hey, you asshole, how are ya?" Mello had to put on the painful guy voice again. No one could know. No one.

"Yeah, I know it's been a long time. What do I want? I need your help with something, that's what I want. Vegas. Well get on a fucking plane then! I have shitloads of money. I'll pay you back. Fine. Address? Get here and then we'll talk." With that, Mello hung up and coughed again. Why couldn't Matt have called earlier?

Ah, Matt. He wouldn't be disappointed.

* * *

Mello, that crazy bastard.

Somehow, Matt knew he'd shove back into his life, uninvited and uncaring. That's what he did. That's what he'd always do.

But then again, life was boring right now. Real boring. Just video games, cigarettes, and more and more bodies piling up as Kira continued to kill and kill and kill. Unhandled.

L was dead. Game over.

Matt had agreed to go to Vegas_. At least I should know what Mello's planning to do._ That was what he told himself. Something to do with Kira, obviously, since that was what Near was doing. Hunting Kira. How he planned to do better than L was beyond him. How _either _of them planned to do better.

But Matt wasn't complaining. This could be some kind of fun. Different, at least.

Except Mello didn't give him cash upfront. Mello said he'd pay him when he got there. Problem is, Matt had no quick way of getting 600$.

Except…

"Fuck, Mello, this had better be damn fucking good."

* * *

"What the hell are you wearing?"

"Fuck off. You're the one still wearing those goggles."

No "Hi, how are you" or "Long time no see" for these two. Straight to business, so to speak. Not that Matt expected any different. He _hadn't_ expected fur and black leather, but to each their own, he supposed.

"So what the hell am I here for, Mello? I'll have you know I had to pawn my fucking Dreamcast to get here. MY DREAMCAST."

"Oh shut up, I'll get you a new one." Mello had taken out another chocolate bar and the thing was already half-eaten. Some things never change, that's for damn sure.

"You didn't answer my question."

"Patience, Matt. Christ, you'd think you were dying." Then again, with the amount of packs he smoked…"That all you have?" Mello looked down at Matt's shabby olive green duffle bag. It didn't look too full.

"I can get stuff here."

"Fine, whatever you want." Now Mello seemed irritated, though Matt had no clue what just happened to make him flip. He shrugged to himself in his mind. He was never into that psychoanalytical bullshit anyway. If Mello wanted to tell him something, he'd tell him.

"Let's go, Matt."

* * *

So Matt found himself in a dumpy apartment in Vegas, with his old roommate for company, somewhat. Mello explained everything on the way, Death Notes, Near, The Mafia…

"Why are you fucking around with those guys, Mello?"

"They have money. They have connections." Mello snapped. "Near's got the fucking U.S government for his bitch, I need something as powerful. Got it?"

"Jesus, I get it, calm down."

Essentially the conversation in the car. Explanation. Nothing more needed to be said.

Least not then.

* * *

Only now was Mello beginning to realize the issues of having Matt stay at her place. (Not that it was really worthy of that name…) Meeting Matt at the airport only cemented things.

_Damn, he's so fucking hot._

When they were kids, and roommates, it had never been an issue. Mello had a reputation for being nasty anyways, no one commented on the fact that "he" always kicked "his" roommate out before getting undressed, that "he" wore baggy clothes almost too big for "him", that "he" showered alone and late, that "he" kept large rolls of material in "his" room… The list went on.

And more importantly, he and Matt were just friends, too young and in Mello's case, too studious, to look at each other any differently. But now…

"There's only one bed."

"Take it." There was a perfectly good couch in the living room.

Wait, no, shi-

"The hell's this?" Matt came out of the bedroom, dangling the lacy black bra Mello had left out earlier on the tip of his finger, a ghost of a smile upon his face. "Who's this?" He asked, laugher definitely present in his voice.

"None of your fucking business." Mello tried to take the bra back, but Matt was too fast. With a simple, yet breathtakingly fast movement, he had easily dodged.

"Ooh. _Passionata. _Sounds expensive." Matt made sarcastic googley eyes, but was serious a second later. "Too expensive for just a common hooker…"

Mello snatched the bra back and tossed it at a table, not caring where it landed, really. "W-who I fuck is my own business." Not good. Already something went wrong.

_Damn it! Why did I have to leave that bra there…_

"Don't snap at me, it's your fucking fault you left it on the bed, now isn't it?"

"Shut up, Matt." Mello wasn't in the mood for a verbal battle. Not right now. She had to regain her composure. Find something to be pissed about… Like the fact that her throat was going to be totally raw and she would barely be able to breathe now that Matt was going to stay here. It would only take a while. Already her throat felt a dull ache from speaking in a somewhat-male key. Closest she could get. Convincing as she could be.

Pondering these morose thoughts, Mello grabbed a chocolate bar from on a side table, unwrapped it and bit in, letting the rich cocoa do its work, dulling then sharpening her senses.

"Hey, Mello, I'm gonna go out and smoke."

"Be my guest." Mello tried not to look at Matt as he slipped out the door.

_But damn, he definitely grew up._

_

* * *

_

_What the hell is wrong with me?_

He and Mello had been reacquainted for something like two hours, and already he was chain-smoking half a pack of cigarettes. Despite having prepared for meeting his best friend again. And becoming his roommate again. And working for him.

Now that last one was a first, but still…

He felt pathetic. He _was _pathetic. As soon as he sees Mello again, he has to smoke just to keep any semblance of normality.

Especially when he saw that lace bra… That black lace bra.

_So Mello isn't gay. What the hell were you expecting? He probably fucks as many girls as he wants any day he wants. Big Mafia boss gets whatever the _fuck _he wants._

Tenth cigarette. A calm, a numb, was finally descending on Matt's psyche, slowly drawing the curtain to his real emotions back into place. There was also the matter of the Death Note… _"Whoever's name is written in this notebook shall die." _

The way Matt saw it, as he was able to think clearly again, was that Mello was gonna fish Kira out, using the notebook as a lure. But it worked both ways. From what Mello told him, it seemed he was already planning on moving to another hideout. Someone was closing in.

Still didn't tell him why Mello needed him around, though.

* * *

"Surveillance. Are you shitting me? That's what you said was so important, that you spent hours trying to find me, then call my place saying you need me, and it can only be me, for this?"

"You got it." With a snap, another bite was gone from another of Mello's chocolate.

Matt stayed put, a dark look in his eyes, his mouth only a downturned slash of disappointment. And maybe some defiance. The question that didn't need to be asked, the one that hung in the air, was also written on his face. And before it could be verbalized…

"I'm looking for Kira, you dumbfuck. You're gonna watch my leads."

Well, that made more sense. Not that it made it any better.

"And there's something else, too. I need a worm."

Matt looked up. "Why the fuck didn't you just say so?"

Another snap. Mello turned, warning in his eyes. He didn't say anything, but he made it clear. Some questions were not to be asked, especially involving Mello's judgment.

Not that he wouldn't ask them anyway.


	2. Taking It All

**Hey people, the sheer amount of faves and reviews I got just after posting this fanfic has inspired me to write this second chapter quickly. Thanks for the two reviews I've gotten so far after just as many days.**

**- SonicCritic  
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**(Oh yeah, since I forgot the disclaimer, I don't own Death Note. But you already knew that.)**

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* * *

Chapter 2**

Morning came quickly. Mello left the apartment, leaving a stack of twenties on the kitchen island for whatever Matt needed. She flicked her motorbike's stand up, slammed the key into the ignition, and off she went.

Her destination was a warehouse just outside of the area she was living in. However, there was always the problem of throwing off any possible tails. Fucking annoying, but necessary.

By the time she got to the Mafia hideout, she was late. Ross was at best gonna be uncaring, at worst a total fucking nightmare to deal with.

Rod Ross was not someone you fucked with. Not unless you were Mello.

"The hell have you been, Mello? We've all been waiting on you!" That was Ross, sitting on one of the couches, groping some hooker. This wasn't uncommon, and reminded Mello every day that she wouldn't have stood a chance as a woman here.

Mello smirked. "Well, if your boys decided to actually give a fuck about security, then maybe I wouldn't have to drive around for half an hour to lose all the tails that follow me around."

That deterred Ross's attention. "Fuck, Jose, that's your job! Keeping people out of here, and keeping people from following Mello around and putting a bullet in his goddamn head! You better start stepping it up, 'cause Mello here's worth a lot more to me than you are, understand?"

Jose softly grumbled, looking at the floor, but said nothing.

"Hey!" Ross pulled his gun out of his jacket pocket and pointed it directly at Jose. "_You got that?_"

"Yeah, boss." Jose replied this time, uneasily staring down the barrel of Ross's gun.

"Good." Ross returned the gun to his pocket. "Alright. Jack, got the President on the line yet?"

"Y-yeah, boss." While playing with a rosary bead around her neck, Mello gazed boredly at this guy, Jack. He was always freaking out over the smallest things, jumping at the slightest noise and never quite relaxed. And he stuttered. Years as a drug and arms trafficker will do that to a guy. Especially an old guy. In Mello's opinion, not very useful, but Ross didn't want to get rid of the guy. "I-it was easy, e-easier than we expected."

"Give Mello the phone."

"And get me a bar of chocolate!" Mello called, and with only the faintest of pauses, "The Note, too."

* * *

Matt had just rolled out of bed, yawning and stretching, despite the fact that it was almost 11 o'clock. He stared blankly at his surroundings before remembering where he was.

Not waking up to a Pause Screen was… Disconcerting.

As was sleeping in an actual bed. Been a long time since he'd done that. Maybe Mello should take the bed tonight, he kinda liked couches better. Force of habit.

Well, whatever. He opened his duffel bag. He had only brought three changes of clothes, all similar, his Mega Drive, his PSP, two packs of cigarettes (And he'd already chain-smoked through one), his laptop, and a towel. Always bring your towel.

He knew one pack of cigarettes wouldn't cut it, especially not if he was going to live here and work alongside…

_Wonder what's in the fridge?_

_Well, I figured Mello couldn't cook, but this is fucking ridiculous._

A search of the fridge had yielded… Not much. Chocolate syrup, milk, filtered water, a loaf of bread, Nutella…

Normally Matt didn't like shopping. But this was urgent. Whatever Mello thought, one couldn't just live on chocolate… At least, Matt couldn't. _Okay, fine. I'll need…_

"Been thirteen days. Jack's not dead yet." Jose whispered to Mello.

She only acknowledged this with a nod. _I figured that would be the case. It's just too convenient a rule, one that lets anyone get off completely innocent after 13 days… _

There was another thing Mello was suspicious of, not only the clause of not being able to destroy the Death Note (Not that it could be tested without serious risk, or that it really mattered at the moment) but when they had threatened to control the President to lauch a nuclear strike…

"The SPK is still keeping watch on the hideout we used two years ago. They don't even know we're going to change our hideout again soon." Jose had walked over to a computer monitor, and didn't care that he could be heard. It wasn't classified information.

"I guess we're gonna have to keep testing this to find out the extent we can control people with this thing…"

The Death Note flew out of Mello's hands.

"What the-" Sheer surprise made Mello speak in her normal voice.

* * *

She was only saved by the fact that the other Mafia leaders noticed the notebook fly through the air as well, and that kept their interest off her as she regained her composure.

"The notebook just flew by itself."

Ross gave a chuckle. "Ha, it's a notebook that kills people. I wouldn't be surprised if it's alive."

"AAAAAGH! B-boss, is this guy in the weird costume a new recruit?"

Mello turned. Jack was screaming at staring at… Nothing.

"You okay, Jack?" The hooker in Ross's arms asked this, while Ross asked, still amused "You been smoking too much crack there, Jack?"

Mello said nothing.

"I-it s-says tha-that you can s-see it if you t-touch the notebook!" Jack was still staring wildly, his face paralyzed by fear.

Mello's vaguely aware of Ross and some other guy talk over what to do, but Mello just stares into space, thinking of what's going on.

"Someone get me another bar of chocolate."

* * *

Matt was faintly startled when Mello burst through the door to the apartment, looking… Looking deranged. Completely deranged. His lips were stained a faint brown from chocolate, his skin was pale and he was ever so slightly shaking. But it was the eyes that truly did it, almost gleaming, yet dark at the same time. Psychotic.

"A Shinigami, Matt. A goddamn Shinigami."

"Uh, what?"

"I met one. It's his Death Note. He liked chocolate. And… I have the eyes in my control. The power, Matt."

"A Shinigami? Uh, Mello, are you sure you're-"

"I'm fine, Matt!" Mello snapped. "I'm not fucking deranged, or high, or any kind of shit like that! I'm goddamn serious. It was invisible at first. Then it appeared, and these guys stormed our hideout…"

_Wait, what? _"You-"

"Yeah, I'm fine, thanks for fucking asking." These words were like a slap in the face.

On the outside, Matt just shrugged and let go of Mello's shoulder- When had he grabbed Mello's shoulder in the first place? But on the inside, he was kicking himself in the head.

* * *

Mello must have finally noticed the smell in the air, the bubbling in the background. "What's that smell?" He inquired, with a sharp edge. He wasn't done being mad, seemed like.

"Capielli D'Angelo. Thin spaghetti. And of course, tomato sauce."

Mello walked close, closer, so close to Matt that he tensed up and wanted to take a step back, but he couldn't. "You cook?"

_Damn. He smells like chocolate and cinnamon. _

"Yeah, some of us can, you know." Matt turned back to the stove, stirring the tomato sauce, dearly hoping Mello didn't notice his creeping blush and shaking hands. He just wanted to… To… To _touch _Mello…

"Matt? You still in this frickin universe? Matt?"

"What Mello? Sorry, I… uh… Zoned out." More blushing that he _really_ hoped Mello didn't see. But when he turned to face Mello, he was already gone, sitting on the couch. Didn't even ask to help. Not that Matt expected him to do anything. This was Mello.

He tasted a strand of pasta, nodded, and poured the water out of the pot.

* * *

Matt waited.

Mello took a sip of some kind of alcohol, twirled his fork in the pasta.

He had to admit, this was killing him. He hated waiting. It was torturous in this case, just watching Mello examine the food he had worked so hard on.

He watched, almost staring as Mello twirled a forkful of pasta, dripping with tomato sauce, raised it to his mouth…

Stopped the fork.

"Something wrong, Matt?" Mello asked, sharpness there.

He was staring, wasn't he. Damn it. He quickly looked down at his plate and scooped up some pasta, avoiding the question.

Mello looked at him, again, with the same bizarre expression as before. This time, the glance lingered… Their eyes met.

The blond opened his mouth, eating the first bite of pasta.

* * *

Another smoking "break", another pack of cigarettes, another bout of internal cursing.

_It must be obvious_, Matt thought, _what I'm feeling. He must know, and he's gotta be fucking pissed. He's gonna leave, or kick me out, and I'll never see him again. Fuck, Matt, why in Hell are you so damn obvious?_

He kicked over a garbage can, muttering these and other obscenities under his breath, ignoring, any odd looks he was getting. They didn't mean shit to him.

All it was was a matter of time before Mello called him on this.

_You're such a damn idiot, Matt._

* * *

That spaghetti-like pasta was the best meal Mello ever had. She never even knew Matt _could _cook, let alone like that.

And before she can say anything about it, he goes out to smoke. What the fuck was wrong with him? She didn't remember Matt being like this. When she knew him, he had only started smoking, and could wait for hours without taking a cigarette outside. Now he couldn't even last _half a fucking hour _without stepping out.

But Matt gone gave her time to think about… Everything. Play with the beads on the rosary around her neck.

Something was definitely not right with this attack. How had they figured out their location? How had they figured out… Well, anything?

_It was Kira._ She realized with a jolt. _L's joined with Kira._

"Fuck!" She slammed a fist into the wall, not bothering to disguise her voice. There was no one else there. And what's the point? They were all dead. She was gonna lose, because she had no fucking clue who the fuck Kira was, and why this new L was protecting him. She was faintly aware of tossing something, hearing it shatter, punching the wall again. He hand hurt. Was that blood, trickling down her wrist? She yanked off her right glove, throwing it on the couch. Yeah, it was blood. She was bleeding.

She heard the door open, and realized someone was holding her wrists, looking right into her eyes, trying to get this psychotic Mello that came in that night, since she burst into the apartment, to back down.

Matt.

* * *

He didn't say anything. He didn't need to. Just looking was enough, to watch the rage and fear slowly dwindle. To watch Mello return to having control of his thoughts, his mind.

It happened a lot, when they were kids, and looked like Matt was still the best at diffusing the time bomb that Mello was. The crazy, angry, psycho Mello that somehow made life all the more interesting, made _Mello _all the more interesting with than without. Some things never change, that's for damn sure.

"Matt, let go of me."

And just like that, Matt opened his hands, and Mello was gone into the bathroom, dealing with the bloody mess that his right fist was. Saying nothing else, no apologies, no excuses, no thank-you's. Matt would never get any of these.

But sorry was overrated anyways.


	3. Here's To You

**UPDATE!**

**Anyways, I actually managed to figure out a good naming scheme for my chapters! Yay! Alright, so all names of the chapters belong to the band tat. Does that make this a song fic? Don't think so...  
**

**Also, I find this chapter's shorter than the others, for some reason. It might be shorter. Meh, the next one's pretty long, so yeah.**

**Enjoy.**

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Chapter 3

Funny, the easiest way to cool down was to take a burning shower. To stand under the burning water, feel it pelting your skin and when you finally couldn't take it anymore, quickly flip the water switch until it was too cold and then you had to switch it again. And by then, you're no longer mad and you can think straight again.

But Matt had done a pretty bang-on job on his own. The shower was just icing on the cake, meant to remove absolutely _all _of her previous thoughts and let her think without any sort of prejudice.

Unfortunately, it didn't go as planned.

Instead of being able to think of the Death Note, Kira, Sidoh, the Shinigami, and tonight's attack, her thoughts began wandering over to her redheaded roommate, and how fuzzy her mind became when he grabbed her wrists, how she'd suddenly had a massive knot in her stomach and didn't know whether to rage or cry or just do nothing.

Because she could never be with Matt, as long as she kept her secret. He'd know she lied to everyone; she lied to _him_, and felt absolutely no remorse for it because it was necessary. She would never feel any pain for playing the part of a man, living in the world of men instead of in the world of 'Stay in the Kitchen'. There was enough fucking regret everywhere else in her fucked-up wonderful life.

She rinsed off before turning off the water, wringing out her hair as she stepped out of the shower, reaching for a towel… And froze, realization hitting her.

She hadn't been thinking ahead. She forgot to bring in a change of clothes.

Shit.

* * *

He'd heard the water start running, and at first Matt was fine, but now it was really starting to drive him crazy. He tried turning on his PSP and playing Dante's Inferno, but it just wasn't doing the trick. Matt couldn't stop picturing going into the bathroom, taking off his clothes, yanking away the shower curtain-

Fuck, he might even be in love. In love with sexy, smart, deranged, contradictory Mello. Oh joy.

Wasn't love supposed to be all sweet and caring and, well, romantic? Not this feeling of burning up and getting stabbed through the stomach every time Mello walked in because Matt couldn't even look at him for too long without fearing that Mello would try to pound the shit out of him? Fearing that he'd have to fight back, and maybe hurt Mello? The constant fear that Mello would leave and this time wouldn't come back…

For fuck's sake.

Love's a bitch, and Matt was just beginning to realize it.

He had to go smoke again.

* * *

If it had been anyone else, Mello wouldn't have given a shit. She would have walked out of that bathroom, and if anyone happened to be in the room, her body would have been the last thing they would have seen… Before Mello shot them dead and laughed about it. A last meal, of sorts, for them. Messy, but it worked. The dead don't tell tales.

But this was Matt. She needed him alive.

She opened the bathroom door a crack, trying to tell if Matt was there. He wasn't, but did that mean the door wasn't open to the living room? There was no way to tell from this shitty angle.

_Note to self: Get a fucking hand mirror._

Wait, was that the door? Did Matt go out for a smoke?

It seemed so.

Barely believing her luck, Mello sprinted out of the bathroom and to the closet. Find pants first. Then bindings. Those were the two most important things. The pants were a quick find, some simple black sweats, nothing special. But she couldn't find any bindings.

"Shit, fuck, bullshit, come on, there must be fucking something… Yes!" She pulled out some thick bandages and immediately began rolling them around her torso…

The front door opened again.

Mello just barely grabbed a baggy t-shirt and dashed back into the bathroom before Matt entered the bedroom, then banged on the bathroom door.

"Mello? You done yet?"

"The fuck do you think!" Mello replied hoarsely. Her throat was aching, burning. She finished wrapping her breasts and pulled on the t-shirt, checking herself in the mirror one last time before grabbing her clothes and a towel to dry her hair, then left the bathroom.

"The hell were you doing in there?" Matt asked.

Mello didn't answer his question, but still hoarsely said "Take a fucking shower. You smell like cigarette."

* * *

Morning came way too quickly. He got _woken up_ way too quickly.

"I… l…e… you, Matty…"

Whaaa-!

He jumped awake, noticed Mello nudging him with his foot, a faint smile on the blond's face.

"Wh-what did you…"

"I said wake up, you lazy fuck. I've got some time off, and I don't intend on wasting it."

Matt glanced in confusion. Was Mello teasing him? Or was he just so fucking deluded he imagined that?

_If that was teasing, you bastard…_He grinned at the thought of Mello trying to tease. If it was teasing, he'd find out.

* * *

"So, what are you making me for breakfast?"

"Uh, sorry, didn't catch that."

"I said, what are you making me for breakfast? God, are you doing deaf or something?" Mello rolled his eyes and sighed, like Matt was some kind of annoying younger brother he had to patiently put up with.

_He's such a girl. _Matt thought. Course, Mello would kill Matt if he said it out loud. It was one of the guy's triggers.

"Make your own damn breakfast. I'm not your personal chef." Matt took out two eggs from the fridge. When he closed the door, Mello was there, threats written all over his body language.

"You're whatever the hell I tell you to be. And if I'm not eating breakfast, neither are you."

Matt just shrugged and turned away. "My, you're bitchy when you're hungry, aren't you?"

He felt steel against his head, the 'click' noise. "I swear, Matt, I'll fucking do it."

Matt turned, grabbed Mello's wrists, shoving him against the wall, forcing him to lower that gun. That was enough shit. He was only so patient. "Mello, if you do that again, I'm done. You can find another fucking guy to drag around on this." He shoved him back about a step, taking two more eggs and a block of cheddar cheese from the fridge, and almost dropped them when he heard the bedroom door slam.

Matt sighed. Mello would come out eventually. He was hungry, after all.

* * *

It was nearly 45 minutes later before Mello decided to come out of the room. Matt was at the table, patiently waiting, though he'd finished his breakfast a long time ago. He watched as Mello went straight for the fridge, poured a glass of milk, stirred a ridiculous amount of chocolate syrup into it, then finally sat down on Matt's right side, unlike directly across from him like the night before.

Mello poked the scrambled eggs, giving a slight sneer. "They're cold."

"Serves you right." Matt replied, albeit softly.

Neither of them said anything for the longest time. There was nothing to say. Mello was an intolerable bitch, and Matt was an insufferable smartass. Mello took a bite of the eggs, then another. Soon there was no more egg left. Only then did Matt speak.

"So, what was it you wanted to do today?"

* * *

_Damn you, Matt. Damn you for calling my bluff, damn you for being so cute, damn you for making me breakfast, damn you. _Why? Why did Matt just take whatever she threw at him, then strike her to the core with his niceities?

_Focus, Mello. _

_Damn you._

"First off, we need to get fucking started on those worms. Priority on the SPK. I know their main headquarters is somewhere in New York, but I don't know shit other than that. I want to know how much they know about the notebook. If they know there's fake rules."

Matt nodded. Mello had told him the rules of the notebook, he knew what he had to. The notebook could only kill if the person had your name and face. As long as Matt kept under the radar, he wouldn't suddenly collapse from a heart attack. Which suited Mello perfectly.

"Well, I guess I'll get to work then." Matt pulled out his laptop and its charging cable, plugging it into the wall. "But it's not gonna be quick, just so you know."

"Yeah, yeah." Mello knew that. She wasn't an idiot. She grabbed her fur trimmed coat. "I'm going out to get chocolate, want anythi-"

"Cigarettes. Don't care what brand."

Mello gave him a dirty look. She hated getting interrupted." Fine. See ya."

* * *

He tried to work, he honestly did. But coding was long and occasionally tedious. After 30 lines, it got to that point.

So, with a stretch, Matt snapped his laptop shut, got off the couch, and began to pace. There _was_ something he'd noticed, something he was curious about. And with Mello gone… Well, there was no point ignoring it, now was there?

With some sense of purpose, as much as Matt would ever have, he wandered over to the bathroom, into the shower, looking at the wall farthest from the shower head.

One of the tiles was conspicuously out of place. The pattern was… Different. Not enough for a normal person to notice, but Matt wasn't normal, and neither was Mello. Matt slid a finger over the right edge of the tile. Definitely thicker than normal, too. Placing both hands on the edges of the tile, he gave a small tug.

The tile moved. Just a fraction of an inch, but enough. This tile was hiding something. Matt continued tugging on it persistently. Another inch, two…

The thick tile fell from the wall. Matt just barely kept his hold on it and cursing, placed it on the ground. It was heavier than he expected. Matt stood back up and peered into the opening.

A safe.

_Why am I not surprised Mello's keeping things from public scrutiny?_

He wanted to crack it. Matt did have _some_ skill in that department. He touched the dial, began twiddling it around, checking for tumblers…

He heard a key in the door. As quickly as possible when you're holding a heavy tile, he tried to quietly replace it.

"Matt? Where the fuck are you?"

"Bathroom!" He called out. Fortunate that he'd remembered to close the door, or he'd be royally fucked right now. Breaking into Mello's stuff was not a great idea for those who wanted to keep limbs intact, as Matt knew well, having roomed with him back in the day.

He fumbled with the tile, finally getting it into place, before trying to leave it be… And rushing to shove it back into place as it was about to fall. _How the hell had Mello balanced it there? _He finally got it to stop tipping, and while it might not be perfectly in place, he'd just have to leave it at that point. Conspicuously flushing the toilet and washing his hands, Matt exited the bathroom.

And almost ran right into Mello.

"I left your cigarettes by your laptop." Was all he said before pulling out another chocolate bar and biting it, then walking away.


	4. Champagne, Cocaine, and Strawberries

**Done this insanely long chapter. How am I done so fast, you ask? Well, basically, I was going to make this Chapter 3, but then I figured it was moving along too fast...**

**So yeah.**

**Guys, please write reviews if you like this. I appreciate the trickle of faves, but since this site doesn't post views, I have no idea if this is getting any kind of traffic unless you guys FAVE _AND _REVIEW!**

**Cheers, and enjoy.**

* * *

Chapter 4

It had been days since Matt found the safe.

Mello had explained that he needed to keep the new hideout secret, that no one could learn about it, and not to worry. Pretending he wasn't at all concerned, Matt had shrugged and told Mello he'd have the worms ready.

He finished the worms two days ago and sent them. Mello still wasn't back.

At least he had confirmation about the Death Note now. He knew it wasn't just Mello being paranoid or high or… Whatever. He had time to kill so he watched information flow through the SPK, through the Japanese Kira Task Force. The notebook of death was real, all right.

Matt wasn't sure what he liked better, the lazy, meaningless life he had before, or the totally fucked up life Mello dragged him into.

Not that his life was much different at the moment. He'd hooked up his Mega Drive to the TV in the living room and spent a lot of his time trying to speedrun through Sonic 3 and Knuckles without debug mode. When he'd gotten tired of that, he tried out Ristar.

He didn't open the safe. Though he _might _have _accidentally _figured out the combination.

The black bra Mello had so carelessly discarded was still on the side table. Matt got to look at it whenever he entered the room. And did he ever hate it. He wanted to get rid of it, but he couldn't touch it. It felt… Wrong, somehow…

He yawned and happened to glance at the microwave clock. _Shit, 11:30 already… I should get to bed. _Mello might come back tomorrow. He turned off the Mega Drive and carelessly walked into the bedroom. He was about to enter the bathroom when something caught his attention.

It was a box under the bed, only faintly visible, and pretty mundane, if not for the pink piece of silky-looking material sticking out of it.

_Don't touch it, don't touch it…_

Matt found himself rushing towards the bed, yanking the box out from under it, and dumping its contents all over the sheets.

He tried to stifle a cry of shock and confusion.

* * *

His phone rang, but Matt couldn't move.

_Fuck, Matt. Pick up the phone, damn it!_

But there was no response. Mello shook her head in dismay. This was bad. Had someone found out about Matt? Or was he just not able to reach his phone at the moment?

Then again, it _was_ about 12 AM. The lazy ass was probably asleep. Even though Mello told him to be alert at all times. She would just have to call him later.

Sleep, by the way, sounded real good right now. Not that she would sleep. She hadn't had any more than a few hours sleep at any time. She was too alert, on the absolute edge. She didn't trust any of these guys any farther than she could throw them. If one of them decided, drunk or high, that this blonde adviser was looking just a little _too _feminine to resist at the moment, it was all over.

Paranoid? Yes, yes she was. Paranoia kept her alive in this place for four years.

Besides, there was a good song playing and there was champagne and chocolate to be had. Who would choose to sleep in that scenario?

* * *

_What the _fuck_ are you keeping from me, Mello?_

_

* * *

_

"Ha ha, come on Jack, pass out some of the good stuff!"

The tension from the past week and a half was non-existent. Rashual had just sold a _ton _of "goods", so of course, funds and drugs were passed around. But as customary, Mello ignored the cocaine.

"Wazzup, Mello?" Jose was pretty smashed, speaking in some kind of bizarre mix of surfer and redneck. "Yew not takin' the coke, dude?"

"Cocoa's my drug, Jose." Mello replied, biting into a chocolate bar right after she spoke. "Nothing else quite does it for _moi_. But the champagne is nice."

"Speaking from experience, Mello?" Ross asked, as he stared blankly at the ceiling. But Mello knew better, he was still alert. Still dangerous.

She smiled devilishly. "Maybe, maybe not."

"Well, maybe you'd like it if you tried it." Ross's eyes quit the ceiling at stared straight into hers.

"That a challenge?" Slasher smile. Psychotic glance.

Ross laughed. "Maybe, maybe not."

Mello gazed at Ross for a few seconds… Then suddenly the smile dropped, leaving serious, dangerous eyes. "I'd get fucked up if I took coke. Real fucked up. Like you assholes." Aggressive, sharp and volatile. Just like them. Showing them who was the _real _boss.

No one said anything.

"Fair 'nuff." Ross muttered, his gaze returning to the ceiling and his hands back to groping Nikki Rita, his favourite hooker. Maybe he wasn't quite as alert as he seemed.

Maybe she could survive this manic "party".

* * *

He didn't understand. Or he didn't _want _to understand. It was bizarre. It didn't make sense. Or it made total sense. Or it _would _make total sense, one he knew what it was.

_Fuck, what's going on? Why can't I FIGURE THIS OUT?_

He knew why. His head was pounding. He was just so confused. Pained. Shattered.

No, that wasn't right. He wasn't shattered or pained. Just confused, and mistaking his emotions for other ones. And he still couldn't figure out what the hell was going on. Some kind of deception, definitely, but…

His phone rang again, and now he could answer it. If only to demand the truth. Slowly, he pulled it out of his pocket and flipped it open.

"32C."

* * *

Mello jumped, visibly jumped, at this. "W-what?" Somehow, he managed to totally blow her guard away. Of any of the things he could have said…

"_32C. Or 34B. Who is she, Mello? Or are they yours?"_

She'd never heard Matt so damn pissed off. This was a totally new side of him.

It was… Sexy.

But so very dangerous right now.

"Matt, pas maintenant. Ils me surveillent…"* She switched to French quickly. She didn't remember any of these guys knowing the language. Mello nervously took a bite of chocolate, hoping it would calm her down.

"_Non, Mello, maintenant! Ou je m'en vais, Mello, je te le jure."**_

"No!" A desperate whisper. She ignored the glances she got at this. She could deal with those idiots. "... Look in the safe." She knew.

The line went dead. Matt had hung up.

That's when everything went to shit.

* * *

The safe. Well, fine. He'd crack it. He'd been wanting to anyways.

Twelve steps to the bathroom. Coaxed the tile out, let it slam against the floor. This place was a dump anyways. One more dent didn't matter. He moved to look at the safe, expertly twiddled the dial around to the proper numbers, turned the latch.

Money. Obscene amounts of money. Wads of it. And chocolate, Lidnt Lindor, Coco Camino, some other brand, Callebaut or something…

But somehow, this wasn't what Matt expected Mello needed him to see. Even Mello wouldn't give such a massive fuck you to someone. At least, he hoped not. Matt was pissed off enough already without this. So, pushing the money and chocolate aside, he-

Wait. Another safe. A safe within a safe, calmly sitting there, as if watching him. The tiniest safe he had ever seen. Maybe even portable.

Huh.

* * *

Screaming. Only three people were left in the room.

At least, only three left alive.

_Shit! Someone- What the hell's Sidoh doing?_

Mello checked a monitor nearby. Sidoh, the Shinigami, whom she had trusted to keep watch, was deliberately keeping his mouth shut as six armed guys entered the building.

_Fuck, I shouldn't have trusted the fucking Death god…I'm not ready for them…_

Mello glanced at Jack Neylon. Kal Snydar. A corpse. He still had the Death Note.

She was the priority. They were coming for the note and for her, she felt it. No, better, she knew it. They couldn't see her face. There was no time.

Already she was running. Boots on metal stairs.

"Roy, Skyer, don't let them get the notebook! Meet me in the surveillance room!"

Reach the wooden doors. Swing one open. Smash it closed again. Bolt it shut. Actions of vital importance. Get the detonation switch. A last resort, made damn real in an instant.

She heard gunfire. Checked a monitor, chocolate hanging from her mouth.

They were going to get the notebook.

Was this what it felt like to be completely out of options?

One last choice. Mello pulled out her cell, hit the first name in her contact list, and texted four quick letters.

Desperation.

It hurt.

* * *

His phone buzzed. Matt jumped, not expecting it, and pulled it out.

…

Four letters, non-capitalized and unpunctuated.

**help**

…

This was bad. Real bad. Mello wouldn't leave a text message unpunctuated unless it was a severe emergency.

…

"Fuck!"

* * *

The explosion rocked the very foundations of the abandoned building. But that was just the first step. A show of violence. A show of fear.

Last fucking resort. It had come to this.

"I've blown up the two entrances. You won't be able to easily escape now. I'm going to blow up the whole building next, unless you do as I say."

Focus on these fuckers, the Japanese Task Force that were certainly in bed with Kira, not on how any single misstep would result in a violent, gory death.

_I didn't even get to say goodbye to Matt…_

Don't think like that.

"First, smash the cameras on your helmets." She kept watch on the monitor intently as she placed her hand to her chocolate again and snapped into it. They hesitated before taking the little things off and stomping on them.

"Throw your weapons off the railing. All of them."

She didn't let herself relax yet. They still had the Death Note, a more potent weapon than any firearm or blade.

"One of you hold the notebook. The rest of you back away. Good, walk over to the door with the notebook."

They were obeying quite quickly. Mello wondered if they had formed some kind of quick plan…

"Take your helmet off."

A pause.

Waiting.

Mello went over to the door and unbolted it. Only took three seconds. They wouldn't notice. She rushed back to the monitor…

"Ha. Ha ha." She couldn't help but laugh. Mercy coming back to bite her in the ass again. "You again, Yagami? Back for more? Maybe I should have killed you... But it's certainly interesting we're exchanging the notebook again." Stall as long as she could. "At a time like this, I'll admit, it's easier to deal with straightlaced guys like you anyways. Don't worry… No tricks. I won't let go of the switch, but I don't have a gun on me. You can check as you come in, so you have nothing to worry about."

Of course, she didn't mention that her favourite gun was right beside her. That would be telling.

"The only things you can bring inside are the notebook and your helmet. Come on in. Close the door behind you."

And just like that, she saw Chief Superintendent Soichiro Yagami for the first and last time. And he saw her. He was pretty confused.

"A-a woman?"

Mello was sure Yagami was wearing a wire. Otherwise, she might have told him the truth. Laughed at least. As was, she did smile. For a second. Before brushing it off. "Oh please, Yagami, that's hurtful. Now, bring the notebook and the helmet to me. You'll be my hostage again."

"Mello…"

She looked up in surprise. Was Yagami going to resist? She thought him more balanced than that… Mello thought nothing more could go worse today. It did.

"M-I-H-A-E-L K-E-E-H-L. Your real name is Mihael Keehl."

* * *

Total shock. And thoughts moving at blurring speed.

_So they're working for Kira for sure. Kira's one of them. But then Kira knows my name? Then why aren't I dead? Did he get it from Snydar? Fucking shit, this is bad…_

"We had already uncovered everything about you, Mello. Give up, and I won't kill you."

Mello put her chocolate down and subconsciously gripped her rosary. This was serious now, the worst possible outcome unfolding. She hadn't planned for this…

"If I write your name in this notebook, you will die. Drop the switch and raise your hands."

She had to stall. Had to.

So she laughed.

"Now! Drop the switch!"

"You can't threaten me, Yagami. If you try anything, I'll push the button."

"Then do it. I'd willingly give up my life if it meant you'd die as well."

"What about your men, Yagami? Are they all willing to die as well? Will you sacrifice them too? Stop trying to be a hero."

"My men knew the risks when they signed up for this, Mello. They're all prepared to risk death." Yagami stated. "I don't know how large that explosion of yours is going to be, but if there are survivors, my fully equipped men will have the best chance. And if I hold on to the Death Note, it shouldn't get damaged beyond repair. We just want you gone, Mello."

Shit. He really meant it! She had to keep stalling. Maybe Matt was here by now…

"Give it up, Mello. The only way you'll live is to surrender. Drop the switch."

* * *

Matt was definitely at least 50 kilometers above the speed limit. He knew where Mello was, and it wasn't close. And that message…

"You'd better be alive when I get there, Mel. Or I'll have to kill people."

Silence.

No one reacted. Stalemate.

Stalling. "Yagami… You've never killed before, have you?"

The chief placed his pen on the notebook. Unblinking.

"I'll do it! It'll take me less than a second. Give up and hand yourself over!"

"It's hardest the first time, Yaga-"

Movement.

_You never should have joined Kira. I would have kept you alive…_

"I'm sorry, Yagami… You really should have written my name down. Now you won't get the chance."

_Hail Mary, full of grace…_

Jose flipped over, no longer pretending to be dead. An Uzi was in his grip.

Gunfire rang through the room.

* * *

There was immediate pounding on the door. Mello jumped out of the chair in an instant. "Jose! Get the notebook!"

_The Lord is with thee…_

She grabbed the gas mask Yagami had brought in. She couldn't let anyone see her face.

"It's no use! He's not letting go!"

"For fuck's sake!" Mello spun around, firing. Yagami's hand went limp.

_Blessed are you among women, and blessed is the fruit of your womb…_

No time for remorse. Yagami had more problems than a bullet through the wrist.

Jose grabbed the Note. Yes! "Toss it to me, Jose!" She caught it. Tore out some pages.

Gunshots resonated. They were shooting at the door. It would give at any time now.

"Blow the place, girlie!" Jose turned to the door, ready to shoot.

All or nothing.

_Jesus._

The door gave.

* * *

Time stopped.

_Holy Mary, Mother of God…_

Mello was vaguely aware of more shots, a shout, some man yelling at her in Japanese…

_Pray for us sinners now…_

She pushed the button.

_And at the hour of death._

_

* * *

_

Matt's eyes widened. Mello wasn't that crazy… No, surely not.

And yet that's the image his eyes were projecting into his mind.

Fire, rubble, noise. The hideout was ablaze and crumbling. Basic death.

A last resort move.

_Where the fuck is Mello? He can't be…He's not dead… _Matt refused to accept that possibility. It wasn't even one. It was impossible. He spotted something. Was that- He got out of the car. Rushed, no, sprinted, towards the collapsed figure. As he approached, he smelled burnt skin and leather.

This was Mello.

He bent over. Ragged breathing. Alive.

With some remaining strength, the blond head turned. Ragged expression, partially hidden by a gas mask, to go along with the breathing. But the blue eyes focused when they met Matt's orange tinted ones.

"…Matty…"  
"You'll be fine, Mel. You're going to be okay." He swore it.

He picked up the limp body, going limper every second. Mello was not in good shape. Mello hacked. He must have breathed in smoke and God knows what else.

He lay the blond into the car, in the passenger seat. Buckled the seat belt around Mello.

"You'll be okay, Mel."

_You'll be okay.  
_

_I'll kill those sons-of-bitches. No one hurts Mello._

_

* * *

_

_* Not now, Matt. They're watching me._

_** No, Mello, Now! Or I'll leave, I swear it.  
_


	5. Sympathetic Lies

**Hey guys!**

**Sorry this was taking so long. Welcome to the mandatory flashback chapter! It's not filler, though, this stuff did need to be said... Least, I think so. **

**Thanks so much to everyone who has reviewed so far, I really appreciate the input. Special thanks to WaterFireEarthAirChocolate, who told me how to finally access Story Stats... XP.**

**So, without further delays, Chapter 5, Sympathetic Lies.  
**

* * *

Chapter 5

_The midwife was damn drunk. Swore a lot, wrote a boy's name on the certificate and gave her a nasty scar on her stomach right above her bellybutton._

_Or so she was told. But she knew her mother always wanted a boy more than another girl. Two nasty, pigheaded teenage girls were enough. There was probably a reason her mother tried so hard to get her jeans and basic shirts rather than making her wear hand-me-down skirts and frilly blouses from her older sisters. Why her mother didn't insist on calling her Mihaela, just called her Mello, a name her sisters gave her during one of her tantrums. A compromise._

_She didn't remember much of her older sisters. Tanya and Rachel. They moved out soon after she turned three. Said they'd get rich in France or England. Sometimes they'd write to her, and her mother would snatch the letters away, not letting her see them. But she'd find them that night, lying on a table after her mother cried herself to sleep carrying some kind of clear bottle._

_And with these letters and a dictionary, she taught herself how to read._

_

* * *

_

Another fit of coughing. Matt cursed and raised a glass of water to Mello's lips. Three days Mello had been like this, half-conscious with occasional cursing and a side order of hacking up a lung every ten minutes.

And every time, Matt was by Mello's side in an instant. He knew, but didn't want to admit it, Mello was getting worse. He might need a Doctor soon. Or at least someone that could prescribe good medication rather than just giving Mello painkillers and applying burn cream and peroxide to Mello's face every hour and hopes for the best.

He still thought about the safe from time to time. But with Mello like this… He could wait.

* * *

_She was always smart, too smart for her own good. Such a poor kid wasn't allowed to be smart. That kid wasn't allowed to be anything but a freak or a nobody. _

_But they really shouldn't have underestimated the kid so prone to anger. She put up more of a fight than any one of them expected. They gave her a bloody nose, she'd break their fingers. Neither side told._

_So they left her alone, and she progressed._

_

* * *

_

"Matt…"

* * *

_It happened in third grade. By then, Mello had taken aptitude tests. The results all told the same thing- She was highly gifted. She should be placed in an advanced school. Such talent should not go to waste._

_But her mother wouldn't give her last child up, and even if she would, her job barely got her so- daughter and herself by. She could barely get a job as a secretary. _

_It wasn't like her mother hadn't gone to University. She had. But when Mello asked her about it…_

"_What do you mean, Mother?"_

_A simple question. But nothing was a simple as it seemed with Mello._

"_We're women, Mello. We'll never advance as high as men."_

_And two weeks later, Laura Keehl was killed._

_

* * *

_

A groan. A plea. A whisper.

But somehow Matt was able to hear it and was by her side. "What do you need, Mello?"

She attempted a smile, but it came out as more of a grimace. "Need… Safe…"

"The safe?" Mello did her best to nod. She was running out of strength. Already she was seeing black spots. Matt nodded and left the room.

"What's the combination, Mel?" He called.

She smirked. As if he couldn't crack the damn thing. He'd cracked the first one…

He'd obviously realized she wouldn't be able to yell and returned. "What's the combination?"

He looked concerned. Was she really that fucked up? "Look… Concerned…"

He smiled, the first time she'd seen him do so since they'd met again. "Yeah, well… You look like shit." He briefly turned away, cigarette at his mouth. It wasn't lit.

"That… good, huh?" Matt had refused to let her have a mirror. All she knew right now is that it _hurt._

After a silence, she muttered, "2-1…90."

She noticed him pause, but couldn't read his expression. He was gone too quickly.

_And so it begins._

_

* * *

_

2-1-90. February 1st, 1990.

Matt's birthday.

He had a hard time believing Mello would keep the factory code on a safe like this one, even more carefully concealed than normal. So, did this mean…

No. Focus on opening the safe.

He was so very tempted to light his cigarette. Mello wouldn't be able to do anything if he did smoke inside now, and smoking might help him focus…

With a sigh, he tossed the unlit cigarette in the trash and turned the dial to the proper numbers.

* * *

_Car accident, possibly due to alcohol consumption._

_A polite way of saying her mother was run over by two guys too drunk to function. And now she was going to be sent off to some horrible orphanage, or get sent to her sisters, if the state really cared enough to find them, wherever they were now. _

_She was only 8 years old._

"_Where are you going?"_

_Mello turned in shock, unconsciously hiding her things behind her back. "Who the hell are you?"_

"_You don't need to be afraid. I don't mean you harm."_

"_I'm not afraid." _

_The old man, probably in his 70's, gave a small smile. "I apologize for what happened-"_

"_Don't. It wasn't your fault, and you didn't know her. Don't say it." Mello was always aggressive, especially to strangers. Especially with false apologies._

_The man said nothing for a while, then spoke. "My name is Quillish Wammy. Does that mean anything to you, Mihael?" She flinched at the sound of her name. "Should it?" _

_He chuckled. "I suppose not, but what you should know is that you are a highly gifted individual, and I run… An orphanage for the gifted."_

_Mello raised an eyebrow. _

"_I have arranged for you to come to this place. You will be tested, of course, but I have confidence in your abilities. It should only be a formality for you."_

"_And what if I don't want to go?" Mello cried out, despite herself. "How can I trust you?"_

_Wammy smiled. "I'm sorry to say I cannot offer any solid proof of what I'm telling you, if that's what you're asking. As for not wanting to come… Do you have anywhere else to go?"_

_And so Mello found herself in England, the newest orphan at Wammy's House. Her name was probably what got her placed in the boys' dorm._

_She didn't complain. In fact, it was perfect._

_Until some idiot decided to challenge her. "Hey! Why's the new girl put here?"_

_That's when she made her choice._

_She punched the guy in the face._

_

* * *

_

The safe lay open. These were the kind of things you'd expect to be in a safe. False passports, a cell phone, a bar of chocolate with French writing all over it…

A sealed envelope.

Matt pulled it out, observing it. It was addressed to him.

He quickly tore the paper off the top of the envelope, unsealing it, and shook its contents out. A piece of paper and a laminated card. A note to Matt, from Mello, supposedly explaining everything… Pertaining to Mello at least. He doubted it would explain the nature of the universe or anything.

He started to read.

* * *

_Hey Matt._

_If you ever read this, then one of my plans just got seriously fucked over. I might be_

_dead, for all I know. Hope not. That would mean Near wins again. Hate that little shit._

_Point is, I'm a girl._

_No, this isn't me bullshitting you. Just think about it for a few seconds. Think of any _

_weird shit habits I had at Wammy's. About anything I might have given away since writingthis. The bra comes to mind here._

_Now that that's out of the way, there some other stuff you need to know. First, I regret not having taken you with me when I left. Truth is, Matt, I didn't want you getting _

_caught up in this Mafia shit. It's not all hashbrownies and love, let me tell ya._

_Second, I'm probably gonna get killed. I'm going after Kira until the bitter end, until_

_either I catch that fucker or he catches me. L deserves my all. Kira may have gotten _

_him, and he might get me, but you can still bail. I won't hate you for it, I get it._

_Third, I'm not sorry I lied to you. I'm sure you understand. But I am sorry that you _

_couldn't know about me. I'm sorry I'm telling you like this, but I could be dead right nowand that's just the fucked up truth. _

_Fourth, the card is my original birth certificate. I want you to have it. It has my real_

_name on it, so keep it hidden. Unless I'm dead, in which case my name is useless and youcan do whatever you want._

_Lastly, if I'm dead, know that you're the one person I cared about, and thanks for _

_trying to help me at the end._

_-Cheers,_

_Mello._

* * *

_Matt set foot in Wammy's House on June 13__th__. He remembered that day well. It had been a week since his drunken father gave him over to the state. Since he'd been given a new name. He knew he'd never see his little brother again, Would never be able to protect him._

_He was 10 years old and alone._

_At least, until a blond boy, his roommate, decided to give him a Game Boy Advance and Pokémon Crystal._

"_It's Near's." The boy said, looking away from Matt. "As long as you keep it hidden, it's yours. I have no use for it."_

_Matt said nothing for a bit, but it was the first time he'd smiled in a long while. "L-look, I-I can't j-just t-take this… D-do you w-want a p-piece of my chocolate?"_

"_Huh?" The blond looked at him. "No one gives me chocolate."_

"_W-well, t-there's a f-first for everything, right?"_

"_Who told you that?" The blond almost sneered._

"_Why d-do I need t-to be t-told? Y-you want the ch-chocolate or n-not?"_

_The blond looked at him. "Yeah. What's your name, anyways?"_

"_Mai… Matt."_

"_Mello. Try not to die here, Matt."_

The beginning of a friendship.


	6. I Don't Want To Love You

**Hey guys! Soory it took so long to update... This Chapter held issues for me... I wanted to make it longer, but this is where it logically ended, so... Yeah. There doesn't seem to be enough Kira investigation... I will fix that, I promise!**

**Thanks to everyone who posted a review and favourited this story, especially TheOneTrueBliss and Kari Twilight Mist, who just keep posting reviews! Seriously guys, reviews (and faves) are love. I love getting e-mail associated with them! (YEs, I am addicted to e-mail... :P)**

**Cheers.**

**-SonicCritic**

* * *

Chapter 6

For the first time in years, Matt didn't play any video games.

He just sat beside Mello, thinking. About Mello's letter. Another two days passed without Matt being able to talk to Mello, so there was only thoughts and speculation. And Matt wasn't bad at it, but…

The sad thing was, it all made sense, now that he thought about it. Mello did have some… Eccentric behaviour back at Wammy's.

Yeah. But he'd sure been fooled. It was almost like you being Andrew Ryan's kid in _Bioshock_, fairly obvious once you knew, but before you did, you would never have been able to tell. It got him then, and was getting him now.

But now there was a serious problem. Well, more than one, but a pressing one at the moment.

He moved close to where Mello was lying, making sure h- _she _was asleep. _Her _breathing was steady and deep, and _she_ was immobile, not to mention had _her_ eyes closed, so he figured _she_ was. _Replacing 'he' with 'she' takes a while…_

He slowly laid his hand on _her_ leather vest and slowly pulled down the zipper, making sure it made the least amount of noise possible. Stopped.

_Damn, it's all true._

_

* * *

_

_It took a while to find them. Close to two years. Two years of Hell._

_And the next hour was worse. _

"_Who the fuck is this girl?"_

_Mello spat. Blood ran down her lip. "I'm not a girl!" Male voice._

"_He says he's the one who took out Marco."_

"_The fucker was a spy! A spy you couldn't recognize!" Another blow. Pistol whipped into silence._

_Ross was silent, watching. Pondering. Then spoke. "You think Marco was a spy, Rashual?"_

"_Dunno, Boss. But we've been having a lot of our shipments jacked recently. There's _a _spy for sure. Can't say if it was Marco."_

_Another silence. "What's your name, Blondie?"_

"_Mello."_

"_I'll give you benefit of the doubt, Mello. Get Marco's _real _boss's head and maybe I'll let you live."_

_There obviously wasn't much hope. But if she managed it…_

_Cruel smile. First of its kind._

_

* * *

_

He forced himself to not go light a cigarette and to continue what he had to do. Ignore the linen bandages tied around his best friend's… Torso, and focus on the bloodstained bits of material. Thank God there weren't too many.

What was…? Matt pulled what seemed to be lined pieces of paper off Mello. They were a bit bloody and the edges were charred, but they were still useable. Were they-?

Matt shuddered as he went to grab the peroxide and a pair of scissors. He wasn't sure whether he wanted or didn't want to do this. But it had to be done. Rolling Mello over was out of the question. If _she_ woke up… He didn't want to think about that fucking can of worms.

He parted the leather vest as well as possible in the circumstances. Swore. Gingerly placed a finger on a rib… Who was he kidding, he couldn't do this! He had no frickin' idea whether Mello's ribs were broken or if there was just a lot of bruising on her faintly tanned skin-

He _really_ needed a smoke.

Mello gave a small moan in her sleep and a faint shudder. Matt wondered what she was dreaming about. There must have been dozens of nightmare inducers in the Mafia… Yet she looked so calm there, without some kind of crazed emotion on her face. Maybe it wasn't quite a nightmare.

Well, Matt would never know.

The few cuts Mello had he dabbed with peroxide, though they looked like they were healing. There wasn't a whole lot he could do about the bruises (which were the worst part unless Mello _did _have broken ribs) so he had to be content with a sigh for those. His fingers wandered, he pulled the burnt leather vest back and was about to zip it up-

Stopped. Again.

But this time, he was almost unaware of what he was doing, as he took his gloves off and searched for any part of Mello that wasn't bruised or bound. Finally found a broken line of sorts not even a bit purple or green. Trailed two fingers, index and middle, across it.

She made some sort of sound and it was Matt's turn to shudder. It took so much restraint to ignore what this new feeling was screaming at him, to take those scissors and slice through the rest of the bindings, to touch more than just this narrow unbruised line of skin, to plant a kiss on her unaware lips-

Froze.

He realized how close he was to actually doing all of these things. His face was almost right up against Mello's… He couldn't. She'd wake up. _You_ _can't you can't you can't…_Almost a painful whisper.

He pulled himself, no, jumped, away, gone in an instant, a cigarette at his lips.

* * *

_Her first kill. _

_She would not cry. Remained composed. Or so she thought._

_She would not cry._

_But after she'd been congratulated and initiated, when the party was underway, she was still trembling. Eyes still haunted. Unspeaking, save in monosyllables. Is this what toughness was? It felt like shit._

"_Hey, Mello." She looked up. "Who are you?"_

"_Call me Jose. It's toughest the first time, girlie. It gets easier, trust me. And they aren't always as cooperative. When they're shooting at ya, you shoot back."_

"_I'm not a girl, Jose." _

_He put his hand on her shoulder. "Goin' to ruin my fun? Come on, you're not too bad a shot… Maybe you can beat our beer record."_

_She pulled away with a smile. "Don't tempt me."_

_

* * *

_

Consciousness.

The first thing she realized was the pages were gone. Second, her vest was open. Those two details were more than enough to snap Mello into awareness.

And then the pain came back, trying to drain it away. Half successfully.

"Matt!" She could yell now. Must be recovering. Even though her left side still hurt like _hell_. And she was… Groggy. She wondered if Matt had given her drugs.

Matt didn't reply. She subconsciously reached for a gun in the front of her pants, but realized she didn't have that either. And despite her recovery, she doubted she would be able to match someone hand-to-hand yet.

Shit. There better not be anyone in the apartment.

Then she heard the key in the door, and Matt was back. She tried sitting up. It stung immediately, but she'd been through a lot fucking worse.

"Couldn't keep your hands off, could ya?"

She meant to tease. She didn't mean to have Matt freeze up, blush, and look like he was about to have a heart attack. Enough of those damn things were going round as is. And when he finally spoke…

"I-it was n-necessary. You have a-any fucking clue how c-close you were to b-breaking a rib?"

"Yes, _Mother,_ next time I'm forced to blow up a _fucking building _because I'm being threatened with a killer notebook, I'll be more careful to not break a rib." She wasn't taking this shit. Not now.

He looked away, and Mello was faintly aware that she might be going too far. _Was he really that worried?_ Surely not. He was a well-raised Wammy Boy after all. And anyone who went to Wammy's knew not to get too close.

Or they crashed and burned. Simple fact.

And yet she was breaking that rule…

"Where are the Death Note pieces?" Mello asked. Matt gestured towards the counter.

Thank God. She couldn't afford to lose those. Possibly the only thing that went right during the whole fucking "foolproof last resort we'll never need to use".

She allowed her tired body to slump back down. Her vest was still open, and it was beginning to bother her. She zipped it back up slowly. It distracted her to the point that she almost didn't hear Matt's question.

Almost being the key word.

* * *

"Why'd you do it?"

She went pale. Matt had never seen Mello go pale. Mello was a psycho bitch who could outthink anyone and everyone. Mello _didn't_ go pale from four simple words. Impossible.

And yet that's what happened at that moment. Mello went pale. Not just pale, _L _style pale. Fucking beyond the impossible.

And then she clenched her fists to keep them from shaking. Wow. Mello was even looking down… Matt almost wanted to drop the subject altogether.

Almost. But there was a small amount of cruel satisfaction he was getting from seeing Mello so unsettled. Savour what you can get.

And he wasn't done being angry, not even fucking close.

"How many intelligent women have you ever met?"

"What?"

"You heard me… Think about it, Matt! How many women have you met that actually had a fucking brain? Or no, don't answer that. How many women do you know that actually do anything fucking useful with their lives? That's right. None of them, Matt. My mom? She went to University, passed Law School; she ended up _as a fucking secretary!_ You think I could have joined the Mafia if I was openly a woman? Hell no! Fact is, no one takes women fucking seriously except as fucking housewives! The question isn't 'Why did you do it?' the question is 'If I can pull it off, why the fuck wouldn't I'!"

Silence.

How do you even respond to an outburst like that? Matt had no idea how to respond. Sure, he'd been subjected to angry rants courtesy of Mello, but… How do you explain to someone that they're totally insane? Right, maybe, but insane nonetheless…

He paused. Did he just hear…? Oh, for fuck's sake.

He turned to face Mello, who had pulled the blankets over her head. He sighed and sat on the bed. "Are you… Crying?"

"N-no."

"Sounds like it."

"Fuck o-off, M-matt." He ignored this and slowly tugged on the blanket, trying to pull it down. Mello attempted to roll over, but suddenly arched up. "Shit! Ah, fuck, dammit!"

"What? What is it?" But a second later he could guess. Mello had rolled onto her left side…

"Help me up, Matt."

"Wh-"

"Just do it!" Mello was already attempting to get up, tremors coursing through her body as she did. He realized she'd probably hurt herself even worse if he didn't help, so with another sigh he got up and pulled her up, not being gentle about it.

Mello was surprised by the sudden force, lost balance, and toppled onto Matt, slamming Matt into the wall, Mello on top of him.

Matt's cigarette break was completely wasted in record time. He made a small choking sound as his face turned bright red and a jolt ran up his body. And worst, he couldn't get away. He was _supposed _to be helping Mello to the bathroom.

But she didn't seem to notice…

* * *

Mello cursed. If Matt gave her something, it was sure as hell doing its job. If not, it was even worse. She was stumbling around like some drunk with the strength of a newborn animal.

And boy, did she hate it. Asking for help was galling enough, even if it was from Matt, asking for help because she couldn't move without falling over was… Disgusting. Fucking pathetic bullshit.

She hadn't felt this bad since two years ago, when some ass slipped her rape drug. She just barely noticed something wrong and puked before she lost total control of her body. Just as fucking bad, without the quick solution.

And her face… _What the fuck happened to my face?_

Matt was not moving nearly fast enough. With an angry growl of sorts, Mello tried to move towards the bathroom. After six steps, her legs gave way and she crashed into the green carpet, muffling her curses.

She heard shuffling and looked up. Matt was kneeled over about a foot away, just watching her struggle. She gave him a filthy glare bound to get him to do something.

It would have worked on anyone or anything else. Just not Matt. Instead of making him get off his lazy ass and help her, it made a slow smile creep up his face.

"What the hell you laughing at? Matt!" Mello didn't sound as menacing as she would have liked.

And Matt seemed to agree, since he giggled, tried to stifle it, then burst out into laughter.

And that pissed Mello off. She saw red. It only occurred to her for a fraction of a second that it might be stress, and honestly, did it matter? She was being laughed at. No sane fucker laughed at Mello. Biting her lip and amassing raw determination, she launched herself at Matt, grabbed a clump of his hair, and yanked his face towards hers. Slamming their lips together.

Shut up with a kiss.

Now she'd done it.


	7. Stay Up

**Longest chapter so far? I think so.**

**Sorry it took so long, but real life's trying to interfere with this... I won't give in though, guys! Promise!**

**Also, I'm setting up a contest. 50th reviewer gets a one-shot of their choice. (Within reason though guys, I'm not a professional lemon or kink writer) Same goes to the 100th reviewer, 150th, and so on and so forth.**

**So, may the contest... BEGIN!**

**Cheers,**

**SonicCritic  
**

* * *

Chapter 7

Three seconds.

Matt was shoved backwards, getting a glimpse of Mello's turquoise eyes and their expression.

Wild again. Mirroring his own feelings. He was getting stabbed again, the knife gleefully twisting through his stomach.

Not that it felt horrible, mind you.

"W-what the fuck was that?" He had to say something, after that. But his mind was officially _blown, _and he bet it was damn easy to tell.

Mello smirked. "As if you didn't like it."

Matt got up and wiped his mouth with the back of his hand, not answering. He wasn't sure whether he was pissed off or… Relieved. Or both. Or neither. Yeah, he should have been used to that by now.

"Well?" Seems Mello had gotten to her feet, seeing as she was right in Matt's face, completely invading his personal space. Hell, since when had his personal space been respected with Mello anyway?

"You're fucking insane."

"That's not an answer."

And Matt really didn't want to give one.

But then again… Fuck caution. Mello started it. Matt leaned in and the two kissed again.

Mello pulled away, smiling. "Cocky little bastar-"

Interrupted by Matt once again.

The taste of chocolate was addictive.

Mello shoved the redhead once again, now irritated. "Help me get to the mirror, Matt."

He stiffened and looked up at her. "Are you sure?"

"Fuck, Matt, I need to know!"

The gamer looked at her with sad goggle-hidden eyes. "Fine."

* * *

Burns.

All over the left side of her face, neck and a bit of her shoulder.

She would not cry.

But she would shake. She balled her hands into fists and bit her lip until she tasted blood.

Fucking ugly.

Forever a sign of her mistakes. Of being number two. Of failing to repel a simple six-man assault. Failure, the story of her life. Number two.

Burnt.

Ugly.

Number two was burnt and ugly.

* * *

He wasn't really surprised when Mello punched the mirror. It wasn't the first time Mello had smashed something in a rage. But his mind was on other things, things it really shouldn't have been on when you have a loose fucking cannon like Little Miss Mello on your hands.

_Heh, maybe I'd only get shot in the head if I call her that now. _Mello could rival psychopath _Beyond Birthday _when it came to creative torture. He knew. Mello and the aforementioned had brainstormed more than once together.

Sighing to himself, he entered the bathroom, where the first thing he noticed was Mello's bloody wrist, next to her enraged look.

He sighed again. "I'll go get the First Aid kit."

"G-get me chocolate."

* * *

But still, _Mello kissed him._

If that wasn't thought-worthy, Matt didn't know what was.

* * *

"The landlord's gonna be pissed when he sees this." Matt examined the damage to the mirror. The thing wasn't completely wrecked, but it was damn obvious someone had smacked it for sure.

"Think I give a fuck? This place is a shithole anyways." When greeted with a single raised eyebrow from Matt, Mello toned it down. "I'll leave him some cash if he bitches, happy?"

"Not my apartment, dude- er…"

Mello sighed and rolled her eyes. "You can still call me dude, Matt."

He looked Mello over. The blonde seemed all right, if not still… Something. The weariness was definitely wearing off. She was returning to her fiery self, but…

She unwrapped the chocolate Matt offered her as quickly as she could; seemingly keen to make up for the past few days without any. Matt noticed she bit it on her right side.

"You could probably get surgery for it, Mel." He commented.

Mello turned and glared at him. "You think I have time for fucking surgery? I'd have to find a fucking good surgeon, not to mention wait in line for _at least _six fucking months! My days are numbered, Matt! I make one mistake, it's all over! I don't have time for that shit!"

"Okay, okay, I get it. Calm down."

"I don't think you do get it, Matt. 11 letters. That's all it takes to me to die." She was shaking again, and probably trying to hide it. Matt put his arms around her. Miraculously, she didn't shove him away.

A minute passed before Matt spoke again. "Come on, let's see if there's any more news on Kira. I heard there's an announcement today."

"This better be damn good."

* * *

"_Give Mello the phone."_

"_And get me a bar of chocolate!" She caught the phone, keeping her head down._

"_President David Hoope, is this line being monitored? If anyone else hears what I'm about to tell you, it's going to cause a worldwide panic."_

_She could only imagine what was going through the man's head. "N-no, the line is secure."_

"_I'm sure you know about the murder notebook and the anti-Kira organization called SPK, right? You organized it, I know you know about it… What you should also know is control of the notebook has passed out of Deputy Director Yagami of the Japanese Police's hands and into our control."_

_The President didn't answer, so Mello continued. "You probably can't believe it, but this notebook has the power to control __**and**__ kill people. Want proof? Give me a name and a method of death. Go ahead."_

_Ross chuckled along with some other guys. The President still didn't respond. Maybe he didn't understand where Mello was going with this…_

"_This means I can control whoever's in charge of pressing the button that launches a nuclear strike and then kill them."_

_He got it. _

"_S-stop joking around! That would start World War Three!"_

"_That's rrrriiiight. You have no choice but to listen to our demands. Understand?"_

_Silence again. But surely the man wouldn't refuse…_

"_W-what do you want?"_

_Mello smirked. "Very good, Mr. President."_

_

* * *

_

The vice-president always looked like a cowardly son of a bitch. He looked even more nerve-wracked today. Mello didn't care for this jerk.

She'd somewhat cared about President David Hoope. Of course, maybe threatening to force someone to order a nuclear holocaust wasn't the best way to show that… Just maybe.

"Do you have idea what this is about, Matt?"  
"Just something to do with Kira. Probably doesn't have anything to do with you though, it's too late." Mello nodded in agreement. Everyone probably knew Kira was after the Mafia, the vice-president didn't need to comment on it. She had no idea what was going on, and it bothered her.

"_Having met with the annihilation of the Mafia and crime rings on our shores as well as the death of our president… We, the Untied States of America…"_

"Oh shit…" Matt understood immediately. It took Mello a few more seconds.

"…_Have decided to accept Kira, and will do nothing to stand in Kira's way."_

"FUCK!"

"Don't throw that!" Matt grabbed Mello's wrists before she could throw the remote at the television. "Calm your ass down, Mello-"

"Don't tell me to fucking calm down! That fucker's just gonna give up against L's killer!"

"Wait, listen to the rest first!" Matt forced Mello to remain on the couch. She gave him a nasty glare which he promptly ignored.

"_But, owing to Kira's powers, war is now a thing of the past. And organized crime in the United States, as well as other countries, is on the verge of being wiped out. We've also found out that the President's death was related to his attempts to capture Kira. If we go directly against Kira, we'll be killed. That's a proven fact. That is why our government has been evasive concerning Kira. But our country will come to a standstill if the head of the nation has to be changed every time we go up against Kira."_

"So essentially, he's trying to protect his ass. Fucker."

Matt said nothing.

"_We are not accepting Kira as righteous… We're just not taking any actions as a country to capture Kira."_

Yells from reporters then resonated from the television, everyone attempting to express their point of view. The vice-president left the stage as jeers and cheers alike resonated in the background.

"That… That… That motherfucking asshole! He… He…" Mello was at a loss for words. Not something that happened often.

"So, what's the plan?" Matt asked lazily. Mello stared. How could he be unaffected by this? Surely he cared…

"What the hell's your problem? He just said-"  
"I'm aware of what he said, Mel." Matt interrupted. "And I don't give a shit. What's the plan?"

Mello didn't know what to say. Everything- Shit, and it was her fault too. If she had been a little patient- But there was no choice. Near was trying to get the notebook too, she hadn't had a choice…

Near.

That's it.

"Earth to Mello, hello…" Matt snapped his fingers in front of Mello's face. She grabbed them and twisted, causing Matt to cry out in pain. "Don't. Do. That."

She let his fingers go and he cursed before once again asking: "What's the plan?"

"New York."

That surprised the redhead. He tilted his head just slightly. "Why are we going there-"

"We're going to meet Near, Matty." And Mello wasn't happy about it.

"Oh, fucking hell."

* * *

New York.

It took a day to pack up their equipment and book a flight. The two didn't talk much during that time, but they both knew what was on the other's mind, and it wasn't just meeting the sheep-child.

Matt waited for Mello to bring it up. Mello was always the one to make the first move. She'd lead, and he'd follow. That was the way it was between them.

But Matt wondered, while zipping up yet another unmarked black duffel (how were they going to recognize these at the airport?) whether that should change. Whether Mello wanted _him _to make the next move. She was awfully quiet for the past few days. Like she was… Brooding. Probably was. Mello _hated _Near. She hated the kid so much she gave up being _L _just to get away from him. That's some pretty damn sheer hatred.

"We're going to contact an SPK member." Mello suddenly announced. "And by _we _I mean me. Near doesn't know about you joining me yet, and we're going to keep it that way."

"Who?" Matt asked detachedly.

"A woman who goes by the codename Hal Lidner. I have everything on her and a guy, Gevanni, but it seems like she's more likely to help me."

"Us."

"Yeah."

Neither of them spoke for a while after that.

"So, uh, where are we staying?" Matt finally asked.

"A hotel at first, but we'll switch to an apartment or something when we have a better idea of the location of the Japanese Task Force's location. We shouldn't have to stay in New York for long."

Matt nodded and continued packing.

* * *

Why wasn't he commenting on it? Surely he wasn't totally indifferent. He'd kissed her back… Mello felt like smashing something. Matt wasn't an idiot.

"Mello?"

"What now?" She snapped at Matt, causing him to flinch. If only slightly.

"Look, I… Uh… Um… I… What was- What was with that, you know…"

Mello calmed down immediately and smirked. "Took you long enough to ask."

The redhead turned bright red. "Well, I…"

"Shh." Mello pressed two of her fingers to Matt's lips, silencing the gamer. "What are you asking me?" She removed her fingers.

"Are we together now?" Matt asked.

Softly, almost a whisper.

"Is that what you want?" Mello responded in the same tone.

"…Hell yeah."

She kissed him.

Hiding her fear.

* * *

The pair boarded the flight without any issues, and in five and a half semi-relaxed hours, they were in New York.

"You'd better be getting me a sexy car." Matt told Mello as she waited at the rental desk.

"Oh yes, is a Prius sexy enough for you?" After Matt moaned in complaint, she decided she'd take pity on him. Rare thing.

"I got you a black Mustang, happy?"

"That's better."

* * *

"Alright, this is the place." They were idling in front of a large condo building. Mello wanted to deal with the Lidner business quickly, establish their flesh-and-blood way into the SPK.

"Have fun." Matt said as she stepped out of the car, and without a moment's hesitation, stepped inside the ornate building. This place sure wasn't cheap. Then again, working for the SPK probably meant good pay… At least, until a few days ago.

_Eighth floor… _The elevator was taking too long. Mello didn't want to get caught on camera for any longer than she had to, so she took the stairs.

Upon reaching the proper condo, she smiled.

_Seems I won't even have to use a needle… _The lock system was code based, and this specific system had a damn easy reset code… She quickly tapped four buttons, then another series of six, and with a quick chirp, the door unlocked. Child's play. For such a nice condo complex, the security wasn't great…

Mello was lucky, Hal Lidner wasn't here yet. She sat on the couch in the living room and took out a chocolate bar.

* * *

"_Help me wrap this thing, Matt. It's easier with two."_

_He paused, looking unsure. "Y-you want me to-"_

"_Yes, now get over here, dumbass, before I change my mind." _

_Matt walked over hesitantly and picked up the linen cloth, making a small choking noise._

"_Make sure it's tight. Tighter." She told him as he began to wind the cloth around her. She took up the front._

_Hands on exposed flesh. Mello shivered. Matt wasn't wearing his usual thick gloves and it was all too noticeable…_

_Together. _

_What that meant exactly, Mello was yet to find out. It had better be worth her time._

_

* * *

_

Mello was interrupted by the sound of the door clicking unlocked again. Lidner was back.

She got up immediately, yanking her gun out from the front of her pants and pointing it at the door. Ha, the safety hadn't even been on… That could have ended badly.

Hal Lidner opened the door, looking down, almost not noticing the intruder…

Double take. Lidner stared into the barrel of Mello's Beretta 92FS.

She readied her guy voice.

"Hi. I'm Mello."

Sarcastic, but not a hint of a joke.

* * *

"We're in." First thing Mello said as she entered the hotel room. Matt looked up from his DS, pausing the game he was currently playing.

"So Lidner's up to playing double agent?" Matt questioned.

"She claims she doesn't care who has information. She just wants Kira gone… Something to do with her father and Kyosuke Higuchi."

Matt nodded. "I, uh, I made dinner…" He'd made sure this hotel room had a kitchen in it. He didn't particularly like Ramen noodles.  
"Great, I'm fucking starving." Mello hadn't eaten anything substantial for about a week. "What is it?"

"Um… Salmon chowder… It's a cream-based soup-"  
"I know what chowder is, dumbass." She just hadn't eaten it before. Fish wasn't bad though, and Matt was definitely a competent chef.

She'd try it.

* * *

Mello didn't look disappointed. Then again, it was a better day than the last few had been…

"I like this. You need to cook more often." Mello said. Matt felt his heart rush. He'd never thought cooking fish soup could make him so happy.

Indirectly, but still…

"So, have you re-established a connection with the SPK and the Japanese Task Force?" Mello asked between mouthfuls of soup.

"Never had to sever the old one." He replied. She nodded, but suddenly winced.

Matt immediately was by her side. "What's wrong?" He put a hand on her right shoulder.

"It's- it's just… Just a bruise these bindings are fucking with. It's nothing."

Matt bit his lip in concern. Even if it was bad, would Mello tell him? She was fiercely independent, he damn well knew that much…

"I'm fine, Matt. Eat your soup."

Matt sighed, and looked like he was about to return to his side of the table… When he grabbed Mello's spoon and stole a mouthful of chowder.

"Hey!" Mello tried to snatch the spoon back, but Matt was too fast. He stole another spoonful of chowder and a potato chunk. "That's my soup, asshole!" She grabbed for the spoon again, yanking it out of Matt's mouth. "Eat your own."

Matt waited, but Mello didn't budge. He sighed. She obviously wasn't feeling very playful today.

Damn it. He returned to his side of the table.

* * *

"Wish me luck, Matty."

"Have fun." Matt told her as she stepped outside two days later, this time a few blocks away from Lidner's condo. Hal'd told Mello the code to her place so Mello wouldn't have to reset the code again. Doing it too many times might raise suspicions.

This time, Mello stood in the doorway. Lidner had told her to come at 5, and it was 4:59 exactly. Hopefully Lidner was in a-

The door opened. Mello placed her gun up again-

Lidner had her fingers placed to her mouth in a classic "Shh" sign- without the noise.

Mello paused, lowering the gun.

"Near, I want to take a shower, so I'm taking the wire off for a while." Lidner tugged the microphone off her jacket and set it on the side table before walking towards the bathroom.

Mello followed.

"Near came to the conclusion you would contact either me or Gevanni, but he didn't know we'd already met."

Mello wondered if Lidner was attempting to seduce her. She'd had no objections to Mello being in the bathroom while she got undressed. Though she did have the bath curtain shut…

"It's so like Near to think that way." She scoffed in her male voice. Mello hoped she wouldn't have to talk too much today. She couldn't keep up the low voice for long…

"And you no longer have the notebook, so all you can threaten me with is the gun, right…?"

Mello smirked, though Lidner wouldn't be able to see it. _That's what you think…_

"…You can't control me, and if you use that gun to kill me, it'll only make you easier to track down…"

_Obviously._

"…I'm going to have to place cameras in all my rooms after this, excluding the bathroom."

Mello said nothing. It wasn't really a problem; she'd just contact Lidner some other way.

"So what are you going to do, Mello? Live in the bathroom? I don't mind having you around…"

Out of the question. Hal Lidner was definitely trying to seduce her. Mello was having none of that. She remained silent.

"Near also thinks the new L is Kira."

"L!"

_So Near thought it too… _It was obvious Soichiro Yagami had lied to her about the identity of the new L. From what she remembered, Touta Matsuda had been part of the raid…

Mello had hardly noticed Hal Lidner turn off the water and draw the curtain. "So, what are you going to do?"

"Hal, who's side are you on? Mine, or Near's?"

Hal Lidner gave a small laugh. "I already told you, didn't I? I'm on no one's side. I'm on nobody's side. You, Near and I all want to capture Kira. We're all after the same goal."

_Yeah, right. _Near wasn't going to kill Kira. Mello knew that was damn certain.

"So what are you going to do? Are you going to run away? If you do, I'm telling Near you were hiding in my bathroom and I met you. Or do you want to meet somewhere else?"

"Hal, go back to headquarters."

"Why? I have no reason to go back right now…"

Mello pulled out her gun. "Make one up." She hissed. "Go back."

Lidner stepped back. "Okay, okay… Just stop pointing that thing at me."

* * *

_Where the _Hell _is she…? _Matt waited. They only had one car, so Mello can't have gone far… But what the fuck was taking so long?

His cell phone buzzed. Matt grabbed it in record time. He hated this, hated being so attached to Mello... But what choice did he have? This was what happened when you were in love with a crazy bitch that had to win at all costs.

He flipped the phone open. From Mello.

**At SPK. Hurry your ass up.**

Matt cursed and turned the key in the ignition. At least he knew she respected him.


	8. Pessimist

**Wow guys, apparently this is one of the longest chapters so far... doesn't feel like it. It felt really short... But it logically could end there, so I ended it.  
**

**By the way, I'm up for Betaing now, so if any of you need Betas, look no further, I am here!**

**Not much else to say... Reviews are love! Please let me have E-mail...**

**And as still, 50th reviewer gets a one-shot of their choice!**

**- SonicCritic**

* * *

Chapter 8

Mello could almost feel the gaze of the cameras watching as she and Hal Lidner entered the SPK building. She pulled up the hood on her jacket and looked down as much as possible, trying to narrow how much of her face was shown.

Not that Near would give this footage to Kira…

Unless he was forced to…

She kept her Beretta placed against the back of Lidner's head. She didn't need the SPK suspecting Lidner was her double agent.

"They have to let us in, here." Lidner whispered to Mello as they came to a thick black door. "The glass is bulletproof. If you shoot it, it'll trigger an alarm and lock down the building."

Mello didn't react when a clicking noise resonated. She wasn't surprised. "Open the door." She said sharply, pushing Lidner forward.

Lidner complied, and the two were immediately engulfed by darkness and computer screens. The light change didn't stop Mello from being aware that two guns were pointed at her.

But much worse than that was the sole figure clad in white and sitting on the floor.

Near.

"Welcome, Mello."

* * *

"The Hell are you doing, Mello…" Matt wasn't enough of an idiot to park in front of the SPK building.

He waited at the other side of the street.

Matt had never been so anxious. Mello was meeting Near face-to-face. Having those two in the same room wasn't just like pouring gasoline on a campfire; it was like having that campfire in an origami forest. And the ground was drenched in gasoline as well. Even if Mello somehow didn't snap, she was going to be one severely pissed off bitch later.

Matt lit a cigarette and drummed his fingers on the dashboard. Normally he could be patient, at least more patient than Mello, but this was not normal situation.

* * *

Not by a long fucking shot.

Mello pulled down her hood.

"Drop your gun!" Two voices yelled on either side of her. Mello instinctively grabbed Lidner's arm. Their members were already diminished; surely they wouldn't risk killing another of theirs…

"That goes for everybody. Put your guns down." Near spoke clearly and with authority. "It is meaningless for us to shed any blood here."

"B-but… Mello killed the other SPK members… And he kidnapped and killed the Japanese Police Director…" Mello suspected this was Gevanni, he sounded young and inexperienced.

_I didn't kill the Director! _Mello was going to speak then, but Near was faster. "We have no proof of either of those things, and I believe Kira is the one who murdered the Director… But that is of no importance now. Do not make me say it again. Our goal is to capture Kira."

Near wasn't done yet, Mello could tell. "There is absolutely no gain in us killing Mello at the moment. He got the notebook once, and was able to get closer to Kira than any of us. Those facts are worthy of respect. Pointing a gun at him is plain rude."

Silence hung in the air. No one moved.

Finally another voice said "V-very well…" and the guns were lowered.

Mello decided to return the favour. "Well said, Near…" She let go of Lidner and lifted her Beretta, fighting down her anger at seeing Near again. "So… Everything is going as you've imagined." She didn't ask. It was a statement.

"Yes. Though I didn't expect you to come all this way…"

Neither did Mello. She'd never wanted to look at that fucking sheep boy again. But that's the shitty hand life dealt her. A face-to-face meeting was safest.

"And thanks to you, Mello, I have been able to greatly narrow down my list of Kira suspects."

_Fucking bastard!_ He didn't even look at her. No respect. She was just a tool to him.

"Near!"

The Beretta was pointed straight at the back of the teenager's head. The other guns were raised immediately. Mello didn't give a shit. At that moment, she'd be satisfied if she died riddling that sheep full of bullets.

"I. Am not. A tool. For you. To use. To solve. The puzzle!" She hissed each two words, lacing them with all the anger and contempt she felt for him.

Near _still _didn't look at her as he emotionlessly said; "Commander Rester, do not make me repeat myself. Please lower your gun." Then to her. "Mello, if you wish to shoot me, then shoot."

No one moved.

Fuck it. This was worth it.

Mello began to pull the trigger…

Lidner threw herself in front of Mello's Beretta. Mello gasped in surprise and stepped back.

"Mello, if you kill Near right now, even if you capture Kira, it will be meaningless. And if you shoot Near, we will have no choice but to shoot you. What good is there in both of you dying?

For a moment, Mello froze, unsure of what to do. Then lowered her Beretta with a small laugh. _This woman's tougher than I took her for…_

"She's right, Near. I just came here to get the photo you have of me."

"Yes." Near took the photo out of a pocket and held it gingerly. "This is the only remaining photograph, and there are no copies of it. Also, the surveillance cameras in this room only monitor. They do not record."

Mello walked up to Near and snatched the photo. Near continued. "I have contacted all of the members of Wammy's House, as well as anyone from your past who would have known your face."

Mello briefly wondered if he'd found her sisters. Surely not, or he wouldn't have called her "he".

"It is not one hundred percent foolproof, but I believe it is safe to say you will not be killed by the notebook."

Mello flipped over the photograph and frowned.

_Dear Mello… _

So Near _had _expected her to come get this photograph... He was a good liar… He probably also planned for Hal Lidner to give her the SPK's information…

Damn sheep-boy.

"Near, I have no intention of joining forces with you." Mello warned.

"I know." Near said, after a short pause.

"But… It would upset me to take this photo and give you nothing in return."

Hmm… Near sat up a bit straighter. Something he hadn't planned? Well, Mello was fine with that.

"The murder notebook is a Shinigami's notebook, and people who touch the notebook are able to see the Shinigami."

"What?"

"I-impossible…"

"Who's going to believe that? A Shinigami…"

"I believe him." Near said. "What advantage is there in Mello telling us such a ridiculous story about a Shinigami if it was not true? If Mello was to lie, he would tell me a more normal- more meaningful- lie. Thus, the Shinigami must exist."

Mello continued. "The notebook, I had, belonged to a Shinigami named Sidoh, who dropped it in the Human World. He'd come down to get it back. But it seems like another Shinigami had it before."

"Yes, we know that because of the rules written in English inside of the notebook. A Shinigami who wished to retrieve his notebook would not write rules on the inside." Near agreed.

Mello turned away, returning her gun to the front of her pants. "One more thing, Near. There's a fake rule among the other rules of the notebook. That's all the information I'll tell you." She noticed Gevanni and Rester still held their guns at the ready. She looked at the younger agent, then the older one, and took out a bar of chocolate.

"Near."

"Mello."

The two spoke almost simultaneously.

"Which one of us is going to get to Kira first?"

"The race is on."

"Our destination is the same. I'll be waiting when you get there." With that, Mello walked out, taking one last look at the fancy interior of the SPK building.

* * *

_There she is!_

Matt spotted Mello exiting the SPK building and heading towards him. And as expected, she did look somewhat pissed.

She crossed the street in record time and knocked on the driver door's glass. Matt jumped, not expecting it, and slid the window down.

"I'm driving."

Matt knew better than to argue. He sighed and was about to open the door when Mello sent him a death glare and angrily whispered; "There are cameras, you retard!" Matt groaned and struggled to climb into the passenger seat. So that was Mello's excuse for driving? Not bad, to be fair.

Once he'd managed to move over, Mello got in the car and slammed the door. She sniffed the air. "You were smoking in the car."

There was no point in denying it. "Yeah."

He expected Mello to bitch at him about it, but she said nothing as the car pulled away from the curb.

* * *

"How'd the meeting with our favourite little albino go?" Matt later asked.

"Fan-fucking-tastic." Mello growled, slamming a laptop screen down. "Want to know the best part? The little fucker had the _nerve_ to tell me I'd narrowed down his Kira suspects! Like I was one of his little spies, going out to do his fucking dirty work for him! I hate his ass, but at least I res-"

"Did you at least get the photo back?" Matt interrupted. He wasn't in a mood to listen to an all-out Mello rant.

"Yeah, I did." Mello pulled out the photo. She remembered the day this was taken… This was the same day Matt came to the orphanage…

"I want it."

"What?" Mello turned to face the redhead. "This needs to be burned. If any Kira supporters get this, I'll be killed."

"It's my fee. For helping you out." Matt said. "Either I get that photograph, or I leave."

Mello stood up. "You wouldn't dare."

"Wanna bet?" Matt refused to stand down.

Neither moved. Finally Mello tossed the photo at Matt. "If anyone else ever sees that photo-"

Matt hugged her. "Thank you."

Mello was shocked. _What the hell does that photo mean to him? Does it remind him of something? _Mello was beginning to notice it was extremely difficult to focus on the Kira investigation while Matt was around…

"Did you at least get any new information?" Mello asked.

Matt stiffened up and pulled away from the hug. "What is it?"

"You _don't _want to know…" Matt walked over to one of the laptops, clicking on something. Mello followed the redhead.

"This was posted on Youtube about an hour ago… Subtitles or not?"

"Think I give a shit?" Mello could perfectly well follow Japanese. As could Matt. "Whatever buffers faster. And why didn't you show me this when it came up?"

"Just watch. You'll see why." Damn Matt couldn't just give a straight answer. The video was done loading, Mello clicked on play.

"_Two days ago, I was told the words of Kira. And justice has been done, as was claimed. Therefore…It is now clear that I have been chosen by Kira to be his spokesperson. Some may try to kill me. But I intend to risk my life to spread the word of Kira around to the world!"_

Mello clenched her fists.

"_Now that many of the countries around the world have announced they will not attempt to capture Kira, and the rest remain silent, Kira is surely the law and order of the world!"_

Matt kept an eye on Mello. He didn't need her trashing the hotel room. To his surprise, Mello was keeping somewhat calm. _Somewhat._ She was definitely on edge.

"_There are still those who argue whether Kira is right or wrong, and I see no reason not to! As a matter of fact, we should argue about it! And if the majority of people disagree with Kira, then Kira will fade away and become a thing of the past. But… Now that Kira has been accepted by us, it is an unforgiveable sin and crime to go against Kira!"_

"Get me a Death Note piece."

Or not. "Mello!"

"_Police, average citizen, criminal… Send word to Sakura TV and we will indict them!"_

"This bastard has to die!"

"_Kira is protecting Sakura TV. People who try to stop this production are equally guilty and will be punished! Those who support Kira, join forces so we can watch every corner of the globe!"_

"Not yet! This broadcast is old, no one will know-"

"We'll make it look like Kira did it!"

"_If you find a criminal, please contact me, Demegawa at Sakura TV! I will use my power and staff to do extensive research on them!"_

"Kira will know we have Death Note pieces!"

"It doesn't matter!" Mello hissed.

"_And ultimately, Kira… God… Will do the final research and…"_

"Think, Mello! We can't do anything right now!" Matt grabbed Mello by the shoulders and would shake the blonde if necessary. "Kira's already looking for you. We can't give away all of our resources."

"Kira's going to take the public, Matt." Mello said in a monotone.

"Does it mater? You didn't think we'd be living a normal life after this, did you? Does it matter what the public thinks? We'll kill that son of a bitch and fuck what the public thinks!"

"You're in an idealistic mood today." Mello snarked.

Matt tensed. "It's called a pep talk, you bi-"

He stopped talking. Mello froze him with her piercing azure gaze.

"Not in the mood, Matt."

* * *

He pretended to be unbothered and shrugged. "Fine."

"Is there anything else?" Mello asked as she checked some SPK material she'd seen over a hundred times.

"Not from reliable sources." Matt answered. "Just crap from forums and shit."

"Then I'm going to bed." Mello pushed out her chair and walked into the adjoining room. Expensive hotel room? Yes. Matt didn't understand how the hell Mello made her monetary decisions… Shitty apartment, nice hotel room. No video games, piles and piles of chocolate. What the fuck?

He supposed Mello was going to take the sole bed in the room… Again. Matt sighed. He was tired of trying to sleep in a chair or the cream-coloured loveseat. There was no proper couch or anything. He checked his worm's sweep schedule. It would run at 7:00 tomorrow and every hour after that, gaining new information. He yawned and booted down the laptop, then entered the bedroom section of the hotel room, deciding that he would make Mello share the bed if he had to...

Only to come face to face with the blonde.

In nothing but a t-shirt and panties.

Oh shit.

* * *

Matt turned bright red and half turned away. He hadn't meant to-

A set of lips muffled any apology the gamer was about to utter. His mind froze. _He _froze. He barely noticed Mello's fingers entwined in his hair as she pulled her lips away and asked "Were you going to apologize?"

All Matt could mutter was a dumb "Yeah."

"Well, you should."

She _did_ sound pissed, but Matt regained enough consciousness to realize Mello wasn't yelling or swearing. Good signs… At least, he hoped… Good enough signs that he dared to speak. "I- um… I…"

"You what, Matt?" Mello fully pulled away and watched the redhead. He blushed even further. "I- I wanted to know… uh… Could we maybe share the bed?"

Mello crossed her arms.

Matt began to worry. "It's just… Uh…"

"Let me guess, the chairs are damn uncomfortable." Mello raised an eyebrow, looking decidedly amused. "And I agree. You can have the right side."

Wait… What? Matt didn't know how to react. Surely it wasn't going to be that easy.

"Y-you're okay with it, right?"

"Yeah. Since we're _together _and all, right?" Mello had crawled onto the left side of the bed while Matt composed his tumultuous thoughts.

Turquoise staring into shaded orange.

Turquoise telling Matt there was a catch here.

"Hey, Matt?"

"What?" There it was.

"I'm out of chocolate."

It was around 11 at night, and Little Miss Prissy Mello wouldn't accept anything lower quality than Godiva

…

…Fuck.

* * *

"MATT!"

The redhead groaned as the yell woke him from a somewhat pleasant dream.

Mello stormed into the room and threw something onto the bed. "What the fuck is this?"

Matt rolled over to look at a chocolate bar. "Shit, Mello, it looks like a chocolate bar."

"It's HAZELNUT! Are you trying to fucking kill me?"

"You're allergic to nuts?" Matt sat up in an instant.

"… No… But it's a disgusting excuse for chocolate!"

Matt groaned. "Mello, what the hell time is it?" If it was before 9…

"That's not the issue here, Matt!" Mello avoided the question. "If you get me hazelnut again-"

By this time, Matt tuned Mello out and reached for the alarm clock. He almost knocked the thing on the floor with a blind sweep before actually looking for the damn machine and grabbing it.

7:18.

Seven… fucking… eighteen.

Matt threw the blankets over himself and tried to ignore Mello, lest he… Do something he'd regret. Whatever the hell that turned out being.

* * *

"Get up, Matt, or you're not getting your cigarettes."

The redhead got up at that. It was about two hours later. Normally, Mello would have been somewhat fine with letting the lazy ass sleep for a while, but she needed another opinion on this plan.

And she was still pissed off from that hazelnut chocolate bullshit. Making Mello go out to get her own chocolate, not to mention Matt's cigarettes, was unacceptable.

As she finally bit into a piece of quality chocolate, she waited for Matt to look semi-alert. She rolled her eyes. He took too damn long to wake up, genius or not.

"We need to get a Japanese Task Force member." She finally said.

Matt didn't answer right away. He surreptitiously rubbed his eyes and stretched before replying. Without looking at her. Despite herself, Mello was a bit annoyed at that.

"You're not going to wait _at all?_ Near might be about to make a move, you know…"

"Well, his computer records aren't showing _shit._" Another thing Mello hated about Near. He was a pussy. Wouldn't do anything without thinking for weeks. Hell, wasn't he smart enough to analyze all of his information quickly? Just thinking about the sheep-brat made Mello clench her jaw. If only slightly.

The redhead shook his head. "Look, patience goes a long way, Mel."

"Kira's not being _patient_, Matt. _L_'s not being patient. We don't have the time to be _patient_." Mello turned away from Matt and leaned on the table. "_Someone _needs to make a move, now. Kira's going to get the public… And I'll be almost impossible to catch the fucker then. If L's _not _Kira, then he's an incompetent ass. But if I get just _one _of the Task Force to my side, or even Near's… But they know my name…" The one fucking problem with this plan.

Mello had no intention of trusting a stranger.

"Mello."

She turned in surprise. Matt was right behind her. She hadn't heard him get up.

"That's it, Mello. Lead whoever you pick to Near."

"What? I'm not giving up my lead to the albino!"

Matt put his hands on her shoulders. "You may hate Near, but he'd be useful for you to use. The Japanese Task Force will be more inclined to trust him, and you're not putting yourself at risk. Hal Lidner would connect you to Near, right?"

Mello got it. "Matt."

* * *

He wasn't wearing his goggles.

Green met blue.

"What?" He asked.

She wrapped her arms around his waist and gave an actual smile.

"That's actually... damn brilliant." She didn't like that she was going to be helping Near, but it was the easiest way to get information…

… Other than using Matt as a mouthpiece.

And she found she was unwilling to do that.


End file.
